How come . . . ?

. . . the Michael Vick story trumped the resignation of Alberto Gonzalez story yesterday on the major news websites? Both guys worthy of vilification, but c'mon - one's just a football player and one's the Attorney General.

. . . I have ten great ideas for stories but can't get one damn word down on paper?

. . . somebody thought it was a good idea to do a remake of the movie Halloween? Who or what could possibly trump Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence, and the irrepressible P.J. Soles?

. . . I've messed up every Sudoku puzzle I've picked up the past week?

. . . I've never heard of this Winehouse chick? She seems to be all over the news, but I'm still not sure who the hell she is or why she's so famous.

. . . I'm always sandwiched between two loud iPod users on a crowded subway? TURN 'EM DOWN! Or get better ear-buds.

. . . the Phil Spector trial's still going on? It's been - what? - three or four years? How many more hairdos will Phil go through before he hits jail for good? Wall of Sound, indeed.

. . . we're all getting so fat, but stores don't carry anything larger than a size 2?

. . . America's Funniest Videos is still on the air? Who's watching? I'm always surprised it's still there when I'm flipping through the channels. Hm.

. . . all the good ones are taken? I'm talking, of course, about the flowers at the stall around the corner.

. . . we don't work on Labor Day?