Monday, My oh My!

    

Here are my twin sister and I at mom's memorial.  We are with grade school and high school friends and one of our school teachers who by the way looks better than any of us.  I am on the far right with my Chia pet hair and  my vampire skin.  My Sissy is much more pulled together as usual.

Just let me say that I am back, but I am still in that state of half done, that comes with death.  It is like an out of body experience where your mind goes with the deceased and you only stay in your mind half the time.  So it takes twice as long to do anything and you usually have to repeat it because you have lost what you are working on.

  Wasn't it C.S. Lewis who said,  "I didn't know death felt so much like fear?"  So please bear with me as I ramble and try to get myself back to where I was before mom passed.

 Thank you so much for your well wishes and Sluggy dear for your phone call.  We didn't need anything for the funeral but I love you for offering to send food, what a great friend you are.

I have so much to tell you but I can't seem to place an order in my brain fog.  Things to tell you on the financial front.  I met my goals for last month and I have new ones for this month.

 Also we replaced my car the day mom passed away.  I was actually at the car lot when I got the call from D#3 that mom was having a melt down and I needed to get over there.  So I hurried the salesman and went over to Lil sis's to get her.  The reason for the purchase as I was trying to wait until all my debt was paid off, but ....  there is always a but....  On Monday the 18th of June I came close to getting into a bad accident because I was having a real hard time shifting my car.  My right hip was pinching badly every time I lifted my foot to put in the clutch.  This has happened before but no as badly or as consistently.  Also the clutch on my car stuck flat and there I was in traffic with a hip that would not allow me to shift and when I was finally able to shift a clutch that stuck.  Scary.  I was to leave to go down to Twin Falls to watch my grandsons that following Friday.  When I got home from teaching and told hub's he flipped out and said we were replacing the car.  The truck is just too hard for me to shift anymore and also needs to be replaced.  In fact we were going to replace that first but this was the straw.  By the way car was replaced with the very same car in the very same color only 8 years newer, and because fate has a sense of humor, my hip has not pinched since.:)

I guess at this point I just don't care as we are in a much better place to pay for a  car and I will get my other debts paid off and pay off the car.  It is just life and mine will go on.  It is what it is.

My goals for this month are to pay Hub's account back $1200.00 and Add 1000.00 to my emergency fund.  I still have two more debts to pay off but will see where everything falls next month.  I just don't want to do anything too fast as I feel like purchasing a car was not in my plan and with mom's death I am all in a dither and things will work out I just have to trust.

As for right now thanks again for your prayers, I am sad and I miss her so much.  I miss the happy mom that I did not get to see as much as I would have liked.  I can't even bear to think about baking again without her.   I know where she is and I know that she is happy and I am happy for her.  It was time and the last 10 days of her life were especially hard.  I am grateful she did not last long after her second seizure as she was confused and afraid.  At least we were able to control her pain and that was a blessing.

Have a great and productive day staying positive while you are in the negative. 

Kim