Quips and Quotations (St. Valentine's Day Edition)

Where, oh, where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over,
and thought I found true love,
You met another, and PHFFFT, you were gone.

--sung by Archie Campbell on Hee Haw

Ryan O'Neal: I'm sorry.
Ali McGraw: Love means never having to say your sorry.

--Love Story (1970)

Barbara Streisand: Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Ryan O'Neal: That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard.

--What's Up, Doc (1973)

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine

--The Clovers

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx): Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont): Why, he's dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

--Duck Soup (1933)

Come back, Sally Field, all is forgiven!

--Marty Volare